How many mites do you have?

Demodex mites, or follicle mites, live in human skin. By some estimates, you have a colony of 1,000 to 2,000 living in your skin right now. When you touch someone or share fabrics with them, you're trading follicle mites. Unless you touch someone's heart, in which case you don't give them follicle mites, but a warm fuzzy feeling inside. It's a figure of speech, you see.

What is in the place where you rest your hands?

The place where you rest your hands on your desk is home to 10 million bacteria at any given time. Well, not anymore. Seven million of them just moved to your hand.

What is the dirtiest object in your office?

Telephones carry the most germs in an office, followed by desks, microwave door handles, water fountain handles and computer keyboards. You know what, just move your entire office to the bathroom.

How dirty is your office desk?

Office desks have 400 times more bacteria than toilet seats. So, be safe and eat your lunch on a toilet instead of at your desk.

Are you addicted to sex? You're not alone

As much as 6 percent of the world's population-more than 400 million people-suffer from addiction to sex. Probably the same 400 million who got it on today.

What are the symptoms of chlamydia?

The sexually transmitted disease chlamydia is caused by the bacterium Chlamydia trachomatis. Symptoms of chlamydia are usually mild, but serious cases can lead to irrevocable damage to the reproductive organs, chronic pelvic pain, and infertility, without a woman ever recognizing the problem. That's two more votes for masturbation.

4,000 people are probably having sex right now

On any given day, about 400 million people across the globe will have sexual intercourse , which means that about 4,000 people are probably having sex right now. Sadly, I am not one of them. Don't laugh neither are you.

Genital warts is the most common sexually transmitted infection

The most common sexually transmitted infection is genital human papillomavirus, also known as HPV. About 20 million Americans are presently infected with HPV, with 6.2 million more becoming infected every year. At least half of sexually active men and women will acquire the infection in their lifetime. I was getting worried until I read "sexually active." I'm safe.

Excessive masturbation was thought to be a mental condition

Masturbation was considered a sin in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Before the 1960s, excessive masturbation was thought to be a mental condition, a fixation on immature or undesirable behavior that led to adult sexual dysfunction. It's probably still a sin, but nobody cares anymore.

50% of women fake their orgasms

More than half of the women surveyed by Shere Hite in 1994 admitted faking orgasm, while fewer than half reported being brought to orgasm by a male partner through intercourse. I have no problems with a fake orgasm as long she sells it.

Antidepressants can prevent orgasm

Many popular antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor medications like Zoloft, Prozac, and Paxil, can lower libido and prevent orgasm. But then, depression isn't exactly an aphrodisiac.

What is Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome?

Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS) is the habit of masturbating in a face-down position against a bed or floor, which puts excessive pressure on the penis, and can interfere with sexual relations. The most common problems TMS sufferers have are inorgasmia-inability to reach orgasm during intercourse-or delayed orgasm. Many TMS sufferers also experience erectile dysfunction. TMI

Half of all married males engaged in extramarital sex

Kinsey also estimated that half of all married males engaged in extramarital sex during their marriages. Kinsey didn't say which half had extramarital sex, but I'm guessing it was from the waist down.

26% of women cheat on their husbands by age 40

In his landmark sex studies, researcher Alfred Kinsey found that 26 percent of women had engaged in extramarital sex by their forties, and that as many as one in six women aged twenty-six to fifty were engaged in extramarital sex at any given time. Many of them with Kinsey himself.

Sexual activity decreases risk for mortality

According to a study in Wales, sexual activity seems to have a preventative affect on male health. In several southern Welsh villages, risk for mortality was 50 percent lower for men with higher frequency of orgasm. I'm telling my wife about this.

A person married to the Berlin Wall

Not all people are attracted to other humans. There are believed to be around forty objectum sexuals in the world who feel attraction, arousal, love, and even commitment for an object instead of another person. Swede Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, for example, has been "married" to the Berlin Wall since 1979. Nobody has the heart to tell her they tore it down.

A woman's armpit scent is most attractive to men

Wearing too much makeup can mask the scent that attracts men to women during ovulation. An experiment found that a woman's armpit scent was at its most attractive to men between the end of her cycle and ovulation, but that this smell is easily obscured by cosmetics. Trying to describe when an armpit scent is at its most attractive is like trying to say when vomit is at its tastiest.

You see "attractive" people when you drink

"Beer goggles" aren't just a myth: People do appear more attractive after a few drinks, according to researchers at the University of Bristol in England. Students who had consumed alcohol rated pictures of people their own age as being more attractive than did participants who had no alcohol. Booze: helping ugly people get laid since the dawn of time.

Impotence is a ground for divorce

Though treatable today through medical advancements, impotence has been considered grounds for divorce in many different cultures for centuries. Can you really call a bunch of dudes sitting around playing music and singing about how much they love their Viagra a medical advancement? Or the guy who can't stop smiling because he always has a boner?

Sex toy ban in Alabama and Mississippi

The sale of sex toys and vibrators is banned in Alabama and Mississippi. Good call. We don 't really want to encourage sexual activity in those states, as it could lead to procreation.

Declining American male's sperm count

The average U.S. male's sperm count has declined 30 percent in the last three decades. I blame global warming. Or scrotal warming. I'm sure they are related. I should ask Al Gore.

Syphilis and gonorrhea during World War I

During World War I, the French recorded more than 1 million cases of syphilis and gonorrhea, and the British suffered a loss of 23,000 men on average for seven-week hospital stays due to STDs. Well, the French are known as lovers. I'm not sure what got into the British.

Homosexuality was a mental illness

Homosexuality stayed on the list of mental illnesses of the American Psychiatric Association until 1973. As did witchcraft, hysteria, alcoholism, left-handedness, drapetomania, and demonic possession. Turns out the list had not been updated since '57. 1857.

A penis pump can cause numbness and permanent damage

While a penis pump can be an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction, a pump will not permanently increase the size of your organ. In fact, a penis pump can cause numbness and permanent damage if improperly used. If I were a penis pump manufacturer, I'd try to use the hit song, "Pump Up The Jam," in my commercials, except I'd change it to "Pump Up The Ham." I think that would be memorable and sell a lot of pumps.

What is the average size of an erect penis?

The average size of an erect penis is five inches, while the average flaccid penis is three and a half inches. Drugs and devices advertised to increase penis size are dismissed as scams. But you can't blame a guy with a three-inch dong for trying.

Yohimbe, tribulus, and maca are "natural Viagra"

Several traditional herbs are being studied for their aphrodisiac properties, including yohimbe, tribulus, and maca. Combinations of these are sold as "natural Viagra," but be wary: their effectiveness is unproven, and some, like yohimbe, a type of tree bark, can be lethal if consumed in large quantities. Tree bark? Dude-spring for the Viagra.

How do oral contraceptives affect your sense of smell?

Use of an oral contraceptive might affect a woman's ability to sniff out a partner. In a study where women were asked to sniff men's sweaty shirts, those on the pill typically chose odors that were genetically similar to their own as being the most attractive. Human beings are inclined to go for genetically dissimilar mates. Obviously. this doesn't apply to those people who admitted having sex with their cousins.

Your genes can predict cheating

A study reveals that a cluster of genes linked to reproduction could predict the likelihood that a woman will cheat on her mate. In a survey of romantically involved couples, women whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes were similar to those of their mates reported decreased attraction to those partners. See, West Virginia, nature doesn't want you to be turned on by your relatives.

Women will likely settle for a mediocre sex

According to one researcher, women have a higher likelihood than men to settle for a mediocre sex life and unmet emotional needs. Most keep their dissatisfaction a secret from their partners, often due to a fear of emotional hurt or abandonment. Mediocre sex is better than no sex at all, isn't it? That's what I tell my wife.

Androstadienone is the human male's pheromone

Human males, like rats, moths, and butterflies, give off a scent that has a physiological and psychological effect on the opposite sex. Researchers discovered that androstadienone, a chemical found in male sweat, raises levels of the hormone cortisol in women, resulting in enhanced mood and sexual arousal. My wife does get pretty excited when she sees a moth.